Obama riding a tiger

I overheard some sort of TV news pundit (I think it was David Gregory) using the expression “Obama is riding a tiger,” meaning he’s in a precarious or risky situation. I’m not sure what the situation was that is so dangerous, but I’ll assume it has something to do with Iran. Regardless, I thought that was a hilarious image, so I made it. This is for you, dear readers!

obama on a tiger

Finally, a decent Obama anthem!

I was beginning to get annoyed about the fact that there was no good Obama song emerging from the citizens of this country, famous or not. I was worried that the best we had to offer as a nation was Obama Girl and that crappy will.i.am song.

I mean, Trey Parker and Matt Stone managed to pull a whole episode out of their ass the day after Obama won the election–and how many goddamn musicians do we have in this crazy country? Nobody could get it together and write a song about something everyone cared about?

Well, nobody in our country could, but that doesn’t mean other countries aren’t having a go. And that’s why I’m pleased to announce that the contest is over, and a winner has been chosen. The official song of the Obama presidency has been written, and like every other hard job in this country, it took a Mexican to do it right. A group of Mexicans, in fact. I present to you, my loyal readers…

Viva Obama, by Mariachi Aguilas de Mexico

Que bueno!

Dick Cheney vs. Mr. Potter (the saga continues)

Potter_and_Trustees with text

So it’s no secret that now-Former Vice President Dick Cheney made quite the entrance at last week’s inauguration, riding in on a sinister wheelchair quite unexpectedly. And if you recall, in late 2007 I pointed out some of the stunning similarities between Cheney and one Mr. Potter from the much-beloved Christmas classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Just look at these two videos. It’s like Cheney’s trying to look like Potter!

WheelCheney

Mr. Potter gives George Bailey what for

I would also like to take the opportunity to point out that I’m not the only one who noticed the stunning resemblance between these two gentlemen. In fact, I received an usually high (more than two) number of hits on the original Cheney-Potter article immediately following the election, and after some expert-level sleuthing on ye olde Analytics, it became clear that the search term “Cheney Mr. Potter” was responsible for this burst. Check it out, I’m #4 for that shit on Google! And then it got stranger. While checking out this Google situation, I stumbled upon this U.S. News & World Report article from the day after the election. Here’s the relevant quote:

“And then at a Brookings Institution event this morning, former Bush (43) speechwriter Michael Gerson, trying to warm his audience, said he was surprised how much Cheney now looks like Mr. Potter, the villain from It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Why oh why didn’t they link to my article instead of that goofy picture? Anyway, I reckon some intern whose job it is to comb the internet for Bush administration references stumbled across my site, thought it was the best thing he’d ever seen, and spread the word around the White House. Shut up, that’s the way it goes in my head.

Medals are for grown ups, tricks are for kids (and China)

I know I should be boycotting these dumb Olympics, but I’m a sucker for stuff like gymnastics since I used to do it (not well, but I did it). I also did synchronized swimming, with even less stellar results. But that’s beside the point. I think it’s a terrible injustice that these obviously underaged Chinese bitches got gold medals for flagrantly violating the rules. It’s bad enough the judges were awarding them suspiciously high scores, but everyone knows younger girls have a HUGE advantage when it comes to things like tumbling. It just ain’t right.

I say strip them of their medals immediately! It’s the only way to preserve the integrity of the games and previous records.

Obama wins — Kucinich for VP!

Now that Barack Obama has all but secured the nomination blah blah blah, the only question that remains is, will he man up and pick someone who’s actually cool for his running mate?  I say Dennis Kucinich would be the perfect choice (except that it would make Obama a potential laughingstock).  Otherwise I don’t know…Al Gore?  Ugh, whatever.  I’m just glad it’s over.

And to all those Hillary supporters who now want to vote for McCain out of spite — for shame!  Don’t come whining to the rest of us when you have to get a back alley abortion.

Mike Huckabee is officially on my shit list

Huckabee as Satan

Mike Huckabee is a slimy little prick, isn’t he? Take a look at these two recent quotes.

First he discusses gay marriage and talks about how changing the legal definition of marriage would cause all sorts of chaos, and how we need to preserve the way things have been done historically.

“Well, I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal. Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again. I think the radical position is to make a change in what’s been historic.”

Then he goes on to say that we need to totally change and revamp the constitution to fit…you guessed it! The Bible.

“I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that’s what we need to do — to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.”

Make up your mind, ‘Bee!

Also, fuck you.

180,000 have signed Wexler’s petition in support of Kucinich’s bill to impeach Cheney — have you?

Vice President

If you haven’t already heard, Congressman Robert Wexler (D-FL) is in the process of gathering popular support for (my Presidential candidate of choice) Dennis Kucinich’s resolution to impeach Vice President Dick Cheney.  The resolution was referred to the House Judiciary Committee, but it is gaining support all the time, and it looks as if we will definitely be seeing some impeachment hearings soon.  I say they’re about seven years too late, but better late than never.

Here’s a rather interesting and informative news feature on Wexler’s efforts:

ImpeachForPeace.org – RNN TV Report on Impeachment Featuring Wexler, Kucinich, Ray McGovern

Anyway, if you are a registered voter and you agree that Bush and Cheney need to go (the reason Cheney needs to go first is that if Bush goes first, Cheney will ascend to President, and nobody wants that), please sign Wexler’s petition.  You can click on the below link to go to the official website for his call for support.  If you have an extra minute, email the link to your friends and family, or anyone you know who hates Cheney.

http://wexlerwantshearings.com/

Consumer spending is down? Thank f-ing God!

With all the news of Americans spending less than predicted this holiday season, and everyone worrying and fretting all over the media about how the drop in consumer spending spells doom for all, I have to wonder where our priorities are. If people are spending less on wasteful holiday crap and cars and gift cards that don’t even get spent half the time, I think we should get a freaking medal!

In a country as dangerously addicted to consumption as our own, where the average person has a mortgage and about 18 credit cards to pay off (I exaggerate, but not much), spending less is exactly what we need to be doing! Shame on the media for making it seem like a bad thing. Yes, downsizing our economy is going to be awkward for a while, because if we decide we don’t need 858 different companies all making flip-flops, some of those companies are going to have to close. But it is the responsible thing to do. Nobody needs to walk into a supermarket and face an entire aisle lined with different kinds of cereal.

We can only cross our fingers now and hope that lending agencies will wise up and stop giving money to people who have no intention or means to pay it back. Without the imaginary income that credit cards allow people, maybe they’ll start to see just how much crap they buy that they don’t need, and start to (gasp!) live within their means. Imagine how much more humble and less disgusting America would be if we all did that!