I watched those darned Teen Choice Awards last night, and found them to be oddly planned, confusing, and more than a little boring. What the hell is the point of having an awards presentation show when you just haphazardly announce winners in asides throughout like it’s the Technical Oscars? Were those barely-discussed categories not important enough to warrant an envelope (or clamshell, as it were) opening? Weird. Besides that and the stupid-ass surfboards they continue to use in lieu of trophies, I noticed a few more things.
-The “Choice Twit” category was laughable to say the least. It was ridiculous from the headache-inducing explanatory intro to the absurd selection of nominated ‘twits,’ which rivaled Conan O’Brien‘s Twitter Tracker picks in banality. But winner Ellen DeGeneres‘ speech ended with the funniest moment of the night, when she encouraged the teenaged audience to buy beer.
-All you have to do as a presenter is mention Robert Pattinson‘s name, and the audience is yours (“you had me at Robert Pattinson”).
-Those Jonas Brothers dares seemed cool until it became painfully clear how fake they were. For a second, they really had me thinking Mike Tyson was cutting Joe’s hair. They made a fool of me, dammit!