When Stupid Things Attack, or, I Wish I Had Thought of That

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The value of a mildly entertaining, hastily made blog is something worth careful consideration. On the one hand, we have the fact that these mindless tidbits are tearing away at productivity and efficiency levels in millions of offices nationwide. One has not only to resist the urge to check out yet another funny picture of some idiot doing something unfortunate, or an animal looking adorable, but they must also do battle with the fact that this very temptation has become a cultural phenomenon. For me to preserve my brain cells by not having observed today’s grammatically incorrect, possibly abused kitten, is for me to be the weirdo around the watercooler. But then again, snippets of entertainment can provide much-needed relief during a stressful day, and if there were any possibility of retaining self-control while browsing, I suppose a few laughs at other people’s expense could be a good thing. Unfortunately, the trend seems rather to be that people forgo reading well-researched, informative news or cultural pieces in favor of seeing how much bacon can be stuffed into a food item, or how ridiculous hipsters look in their “fashionable” clothing, and the endless possible combinations of them all. The blogs will not stop offering muffled cubicle laughs, and the finger cannot help but hit “refresh” with the ferocity of a texting teen.

The proliferation of opportunities for two-second entertainment, of one-off potty humor, carries grand implications for the future of artistic output in our society. But I also have another concern: why didn’t I think of that? People who once housed dreams of bringing a new voice to their generation and adding to the literary or artist canon are now earning book deals by spending their days thinking of something hilariously insulting to type over a picture of someone attending prom in 1983. These people are getting book deals and other “cha-ching” opportunities faster than you can say “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” and all for coming up with something that is so awkwardly, inanely funny that people are readily won over. It’s easy for me to sit here and talk about the plight of modern society, but it’s also easy for me to be bitter, as it may shock you to learn that I’ve yet to receive an offer from any publisher. Laughter is, as they say, the best medicine, and I’ll be laughing all the way to The Grave Gatsby and Zombies.

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European Vacation’s Rusty is Blake Lively’s brother?

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So I had a dream last night that for some reason involved the son, Rusty aka Russ, from National Lampoon’s European Vacation. I don’t ask for these weird celebrity dreams. And so I looked up a picture of him and in the process took a glance at his biography. It turns out his name is Jason Lively and he’s actually the brother of Gossip Girl star Blake Lively! Weird!

First of all, their age difference is remarkable. Here’s a picture of Jason now.

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And here’s a picture of his ever-so-famous sister as she looks now.

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I don’t really see a resemblance, but I’ll take their word that they’re related. The sad thing is that the last project Jason Lively worked on was a video game called Return to Zork in 1993. He wasn’t a bad actor! I truly believed that he hated wearing those berets. Oh well, I guess now we have Rupert Grint to fill the need for ginger actors with goofy looks. But couldn’t he at least get a guest role on GG as Serena’s long lost older brother? They could take an ill-planned vacation together!

Liz and Laura’s Finite Playlist: What We’re Listening to Right Now

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Here it is again, folks, our (sort of) monthly guide to the hottest music out there. And by out there we mean in our apartments.

Liz

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1. Born Ruffians – Red Yellow, & Blue

2. Wheat – White Ink, Black Ink

3. Yes – Close to the Edge

4. Beach House – Devotion

5. Grizzly Bear – Vekatimest (whatever that means)


Laura

Laura Record Background

1. Previously on Lost – Season 5 EP

2. Emiliana Torrini – Me and Armini

3. Black Star – Black Star

4. Beyonce – I Am…Sasha Fierce

5. David Lynch – Fox Bat Strategy: A Tribute to Dave Jaurequi
 
 
 

 

 

Observations while watching the 2009 Teen Choice Awards

I watched those darned Teen Choice Awards last night, and found them to be oddly planned, confusing, and more than a little boring. What the hell is the point of having an awards presentation show when you just haphazardly announce winners in asides throughout like it’s the Technical Oscars? Were those barely-discussed categories not important enough to warrant an envelope (or clamshell, as it were) opening? Weird. Besides that and the stupid-ass surfboards they continue to use in lieu of trophies, I noticed a few more things.

-The “Choice Twit” category was laughable to say the least. It was ridiculous from the headache-inducing explanatory intro to the absurd selection of nominated ‘twits,’ which rivaled Conan O’Brien‘s Twitter Tracker picks in banality. But winner Ellen DeGeneresspeech ended with the funniest moment of the night, when she encouraged the teenaged audience to buy beer.

-All you have to do as a presenter is mention Robert Pattinson‘s name, and the audience is yours (“you had me at Robert Pattinson”).

-Those Jonas Brothers dares seemed cool until it became painfully clear how fake they were. For a second, they really had me thinking Mike Tyson was cutting Joe’s hair. They made a fool of me, dammit!

-Fucking surfboards.

The 10 Most Popular L&L Articles in July 2009

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1. Laura’s 5 Favorite (and Least Favorite) Celebrity Couples

2. The 2007 Celebrity Superlatives: The Best, Worst, and Freakiest

3. The 10 Sexiest Men on TV

4. L Word fans–is Niki supposed to be Lindsay Lohan?

5. The Sexiest Men in Their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s

6. I think I was a little hard on Rachael Ray

7. The 5 Best Shows on TV Right Now (12/07/07)

8. Queer as Folk’s Brian is in Desperate Housewives??

9. Haircut Update: Exiting ‘Natalie Portman,’ Entering ‘Jean Seberg’

10. The Top 10 Movie Stalkers