Dear Mr. Mandel,
I have been a great admirer of your work since childhood. Your animated series “Bobby’s World” was a delight, and who can forget the fine Fred Savage film “Little Monsters” with your starmaking turn as Maurice, the punk rock monster (who kind of reminds me of Vivian in “The Young Ones”)? In recent years, however, your continued involvement with “Deal or No Deal” has somewhat soured your reputation. Now you are known either as the bald germaphobe game show host who tortures us by dragging out the simple act of opening briefcases, or even worse, as the hidden camera prankster behind the abhorrently-titled TV show “Howie Do It.”
So if I may offer my humble opinion, I would like to suggest a project that could revitalize your flagging film career and remind people why you’re a star in the first place. That’s right, “Little Monsters 2.”
Let me break it down for you. It’s been 20 years since “Little Monsters,” which means that the movie’s star, Fred Savage, is all grown up now. So we start the sequel with Fred’s character, Brian Stevenson, as a well-adjusted adult. He’s married (to redheaded childhood sweetheart Kiersten, of course) with kids, and his oldest son is about the age Brian was in the first film. You, Maurice, come back on your usual nocturnal scarefests and become friends with Brian’s son (let’s call him Brian Jr.). You take Brian Jr. away to the underground monster kingdom, and wacky hijinks ensue, until Brian finds out about it. Then it’s a race against time, and Brian must rescue his son before he turns into a monster! And since Brian kind of half turned into a monster when he was a child, that could make him extra immune to the underground lair, or make him the only adult that can go down there. I’m tellin’ you, it writes itself! Just make sure there’s another scene where a bully is tricked into drinking urine. That was the best part of the first movie.
I await your response, Howie!