The 5 Best Shows on TV Right Now

1. Weeds

Yes, I’ve written about Weeds before (see Weeds: The Best Show Ever Made, which was quoted on the official Weeds website), but I can’t help but continue to sing its praises. This show’s writers are fantastic at getting characters, especially our hapless lady protagonist, out of seemingly impossible situations, but seriously, after watching the finale of the third season, I have no idea how in the world they’ll be able to continue the story. No spoilers here, it’s not that kind of website, but let it suffice to say that the fourth season premiere is going to be something to watch. Also, Justin Kirk is hot.

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(Photo courtesy of Showtime)

2. House

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I just want the same things every girl wants — marriage, a house, to marry TV’s House — is that too much to ask? It isn’t much of a secret that I find Hugh Laurie to be something of a dreamboat (see my article “Hugh Laurie is a dreamboat” if you don’t believe me), so it should come as no surprise that I am a faithful viewer of the medical dramedy House. But guess what? As if I didn’t already need to turn on the TV every Tuesday night at nine prepared with a drool rag in one hand and a jar of smelling salts in the other, now those diabolical studio heads have gone and added my other heartthrob of the moment to the mix! I am referring, of course, to sexy Kal Penn.

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(photo courtesy of DesiClub.com)

Thank you, FOX. Thank you.

3. MANswers

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Just when I thought that no TV show would ever fill the hole that Max X left in my heart when it went off the air, along came Spike TV’s MANswers. If Maxim were a TV show, this would be it. It attempts to answer the really tough questions, like “Are women with fake boobs hornier?” And as if that wasn’t enough, all the while they provide sassy commentary that sounds suspiciously like the voice-over on Max X. Whatever you do, don’t miss the opening credits — they’re just amazing, a testosterone-oozing, quasi-surrealist collage of symbols of manhood, such as a chainsaw and fire. It really has to be seen to be believed. Sheer genius.

4. Big Love

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Yeah, I know, Season 2 wasn’t so great, and the writers really need to leave the plot twists to 24 and focus on the relationships that made us want to watch the show in the first place, but it’s still one of the most daring shows on TV, and I think it’s making a lot of people wonder what they saw in monogamy in the first place. At least, I hope so. I read a while back that quite a lot of actual polygamists (many of them Mormon or of a related sect) watch the show, ahem, religiously, and that makes me really happy, that they are finally being represented in a fair way on TV. This show is like the Will and Grace of the poly community!

Oh, and I almost forgot, David Byrne does the original music for the show now. David Byrne! This is clearly a show after my own heart.

5. 30 Rock

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It took a little under a decade, but I’m finally starting to like Tina Fey. Mean Girls made me give her a second chance, but 30 Rock sealed the deal. I really can’t say anything bad about this show, except it sucks that they didn’t let Rachel Dratch play the role she was originally given. I’m not surprised, but it sucks. Oh well, NBC isn’t known for making good decisions, or even decisions that make a lick of sense, goddammit!*

*Full disclosure: Laura has applied for several dozen jobs and internships at NBC and has been summarily rejected every time. Plus, the head writer at Passions never responded to her fan mail. Stupid James E. Reilly.

Ween

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Well kids, I’ve now officially attended my first show at the gargantuan Terminal 5, located far, far away on the outer reaches of the exotic West Side. Well, sort of attended. I noted that my ticket said the doors opened at seven, so I called the venue and asked them if there were any opening bands, and what time Ween were “supposed” to go on. The kind lady told me they’d go on at eight. How very informative. After this point is when things started going horribly awry. I decided that 8:30 was an appropriate time to arrive, since we’ve all heard of musician’s time and Dean and Gene are certainly no sticklers for rules, timeliness, or even sobriety, so I figured they’d stumble out later rather than earlier. After exiting the train we still had a fair walk ahead of us, and this was a chilly evening to be sure. I remember declaring to Laura “You know, this Terminal 5 establishment, not so convenient.” But I don’t like to complain. When we finally reached the mysterious venue, we were none too pleased to see a line stretching sickeningly far down the block. By this time it was approaching nine o’clock, but we drudgingly accepted our stupid mis-planning and walked another mile to take a place at the end. The technologically savvy among the waiting crowd informed everyone that sadly, Ween had actually gone on at eight. The horror! There’s nothing like that feeling of realizing you paid a pretty penny to see one of your favorite bands live, but that you’d in fact be missing most of it.

So, I arrived pissed and pouty. True, some portion of this mess was due to no fault but my own, but I still feel justified in some percentage of my anger. We ran in just as Ween started playing one of my favorite live songs “Touch My Tooter.” This immediately stirred my juices and I began to feel giddy with the joys of seeing a band I so adore. These guys haven’t played NYC proper since 2004, and have apparently been rocking significantly across the country on their way here, so what I was able to see was at least special despite its not being the whole shebang. Spirits were high (heh) through numbers such as “Ocean Man,” “The Mollusk,” and “Booze Me Up And Get Me High.” My heart wept for one fan with an enormously proficient whistling talent who kept screeching out the looping vocal part on “Big Jim.” His requests were noted by the band, as was his perseverance, but they did not in fact play this song. Terminal 5 as a whole wasn’t too shabby – there was at least decent visibility from the various areas of the place I found myself in (bar, the second balcony, floor, bar) – but all the annoying elements listed above plus the fact that it just ain’t no intimate experience make it not the most awesome place to catch a rock concert. But hey, at least I sorta saw Ween. Sigh.

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