Dear Liz and Laura,
I was criticized over the weekend for my 12-hour rule. Basically, I have a rule with women. if I’m starting to date or becoming friend or both or neither, I can’t see them topless or bottomless before being in their presense for 12-hours. Example, you meet a girl at a party, you talk for an hour, decide we should go on a date, that’s an hour. Meet for dinner at 7pm-have drinks until midnight, that’s five hours + 1 = 6 hours. Next date, we got dinner and movie, say 4 hours. that’s 10. So by the third date when it gets to the 2 hours mark, I’m free and clear. You get it? So what do you think of my rule?
–A very patient man
Criticized? So a lady you were on a third date with was wondering why you hadn’t yet laid on the sexy moves? I’d say your policy is quite refreshing in this day and age, what with the booze-driven, “Hey, we just met, let’s bone in the coat check room” attitude that is so common in the modern world of dating. During those crucial first few dates, most of the women I know fret about when it’s appropriate to safely enjoy certain levels of romance, without seeming overly slutty in the gentleman’s mind. We all have our bodily needs and desires, but most of us are also aware that it’s dangerous to rush into physical intimacy before deciding if you actually like the person, or even can stand being in the same room with them for five minutes. Clearly you are well aware of this fact, otherwise, why would you have created this 12-hour rule in the first place?
Thusly, it’s somewhat shocking that this lady friend of yours became so frustrated. We’d say she should appreciate your personal code of courtship, and be glad you’re not another frat boy date rapist trying to slip her a roofiecolada. But perhaps she was unaware of your 12-hour policy, and by the third date was interpreting your failure to make a move as lack of interest. Women accustomed to the singles’ scene (unfortunately) aren’t used to guys restraining themselves for two hours, much less twelve. We’ve all had our humiliating experiences where a crush turns out to be gay, asexual, married, or otherwise undateable, so you can’t blame a girl for taking note of a potential red flag. Bottom line is, if you keep calling, she should know that you’re still havin’ it. Now, if it’s been 36 hours and you still haven’t touched her, we give this girl full license to worry.
Liz and Laura
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